Obviously Not a Golfer

Good Friday

2007-04-07T13:32:00.000-04:00

The Earthquake

By Preson (aka Tommy Phillips)

I'm in horror... I don't know what to do, where to go, what to believe!

I was asleep in the garden, and I was awakened by the stomping of what sounded like fifty men, with torches and swords. I thought I was still dreaming, you know that feeling when you first wake up in an awkward place, and you're overcome by confusion? I was terrified. I remembered that Jesus was over near the sycamores, so I ran around the north side of garden and grabbed peter and john, they had the same confused look on their faces, I told them to follow me.

When we found Jesus, He was surrounded by men, roman soldiers. We stayed back, out of fear, we couldn't understand their dialogue. Thomas was standing next to Him with his dagger in his hand, and Jesus was touching one of the guards on the side of His head. Suddenly the earth shook, when I turned around, the others were gone and Jesus was being led away, Thomas had ran also, but one man stayed behind. He didn't have a torch, and he seemed distraught. I heard him crying and I realized that it was Judas Iscariot. Did he have anything to do with this? There was so much I didn't know.

So many things happened after the arrest in the garden that I don't even know where to start. There were rumors that He went before Pilate, and that he had been sent other places also. An elderly man told me that the Sanhedrin had brought charges before Him, and that he could be tried for blasphemy.

The next time that I saw Jesus was the most painful moment of my life. There was a crowd along de-larosa street, unlike any crowd I had ever seen. Some were crying, some were screaming, some were angry, and some were laughing. I pushed through to see what was happening.

There was a man, obviously a criminal, carrying his cross up the hill. He was a mess. His eyes were purple and swollen, his back was raw and torn from his punishment, his face was bare.... but then I saw his hands, strong hands, hands that looked like they've know hard labor. A carpenters hands. I recognized them. They were the hands that had I had watched turn a few loaves of bread into food for thousands..., that had put mud on a blind man’s eyes to heal him..., these hands had reached out for Peter when he walked on the water. We had seen these hands do so many amazing things, I sometimes just used to sit and stare at them and thank the father for sending them. Last night I watched these hands wash my very own feet...

I tried to push through the crowd to get to Him, but the guards held me back. I screamed out His name, and he turned and looked at me with pity in His swollen eyes. Why did He pity me? Why was he feeling sorry for me?

I watched as they took those perfect hands and they drove nails through His hands, my heart ached. Not his hands, they were instruments of love, of comfort, of peace. They once flowed with mercy, now they run with blood.

I watched as they raised up His cross, with blood flowing from His feet and His head.

I remembered what it was like when we used to enter the big cities. People would wave palm branches and sing songs about Him. They would cover the ground with leaves so that even His donkey would have comfort in his steps. The sick would crawl up to Him just to touch the tassels of His robe because they remembered what the prophets had said about the messiah have healing power in His tassels of His cloak. Now they are waving fists. Now they are hurling insults. Now He is naked and humiliated.

I can watch no more, I must run.

It is all over.

I passed Joseph from Arimathea while I was running. He asked me where I was going, I told him that I didn't know. He asked for assistance, that he was going to the Governor to ask for the body. Why would I want the body? I wanted Jesus, not His body. I wanted to hold His hands, not wrap them to His chest in a shroud. NO!!!

The Sabbath is coming.

I must hide, surely they will come for us next.

This was a terrible day, never again will I celebrate this day. There is no hope, I see no reason to rejoice. Never again will my Passovers be sweet, for I will remember what was to follow.

I must hide.

Home Away From Home

2007-01-20T10:18:00.000-05:00

I had the distinct pleasure of visiting friends, honestly family, in Philadelphia this past week. I already had a day off of work due to MLK day on Monday, so I decided to utilize 2 of my hard-earned paid vacation days to make the trip. Everyone else in the world seems to flock to Florida for the 80 degree winters. Having been born and raised in them, I did just the opposite.

I was able to stay with great friends of mine Tony and his wife Jessica. Tony seems to be completely won over by the city of Philadelphia. Grant it, he's been able to spend a bit more time seeing the sights and sounds of the city, as this was the city where he dated his wife. I do seem to remember our first year when neither of us really liked the city and longed for the beaches of good ole FL. I never really stopped disliking Philly. Tony, on the other hand, cheers for the Eagles now instead of our home team in Tampa the Bucs. I seem to remember the Bucs and Eagles playing earlier this year, wonder who won that game? Though I'm sure the Eagles will win this weekend and make it to the Super Bowl. Oh wait ... turns out the Eagles lost last week and will be joining the rest of us on our couches watching the game. Oh well, Super Bowls, Championships, Trophies, National Titles and all that, they're overrated. We win them every other year in FL. Philly? Not so much. Tony man, Nate and Luke E. have been in Philly just as long as you and they still cheer for their home teams. You're selling out. That's weak!

Back to the trip though. I know what Tony is talking about when he speaks of his trips to FL being a little difficult. I set aside 5 days for the trip and it's still difficult to schedule everyone into those days. Here's a brief run-down of the trip. Landed Thursday night around 11. Friday I made a few calls in the morning then met up w/ Justin at Baja Fresh, of course. From there we made our way to Denise's work to slip in the back door and say hello. Friday night I was able to pick Tiffany up from the airport, just like old times. Later I met up w/ Tony for a few wings and a pint at Fatty's. Saturday was Steven's wedding during the day. From there I went to visit Nate and his wife down at their place in the city. Saturday evening was when the Eagle lost, which never gets old to watch. I was able to watch with Tony and Jess at their apartment where the cheers and ultimately groans of all the Eagle fans in their building could be heard. Sunday was a chance to visit my old church New Life Dresher, who are now officially Dresher as they are meeting in their new building there. After having lunch with friends from church it was off to one of establishments I do miss from the Philly area, King of Prussia. I made a few purchases at about a 70% discount.

Sunday night Mafia was easily one of the highlights of my trip. I thought Denise had a bit of Mafia eyes as she sat next to me telling not to eliminate her, at least not in the first few rounds. I didn't say it though, so I can't claim credit for being able to tell if Denise is Mafia from her eyes. I did however call her out as Mafia when she claimed to be the only Cop remaining and talked about whom she had cleared the previous night. Denise, no one would come out and admit to being a cop if they knew they were the only cop remaining. That's suicide. That is unless of course you are Mafia. Unfortunately for me, I can never just sit quietly and play the role of the common citizen. Because I'm always active and talking, and claiming to be Mafia, I usually find myself dead in the first 2 rounds. So, when I called Denise out for being Mafia I was a pretty easy person to turn everyone against and I was killed off about a minute later. I do have to admit that while we were playing I looked around the room at the people I had been given the joy of living with for the last 3 years and was very glad I had made the trip.

Monday I was able to have lunch with another good friend of mine Michaeline down in the city at the Continental. We just kind of walked around Center City for a bit and did some shopping. She said she needed a black belt and a few hours later she had everything except of course a black belt. Or did she buy one of those too? I can't remember. Needless to say she was fun to shop with. Monday night was Dave and Buster's w/ Nate and Marissa. Tuesday, my final day, I had lunch w/ Tony and then met up with Luke H. for a couple pints at the Blue Comet in Glenside. After hanging around Machen for another hour or two I found myself rushing to get to the airport on time.

Since I've been home people have been asking how my trip was and what had done in Philly. I didn't do that much if you think in terms of going to recognizable places and doing grandiose things. I guess it doesn't really connect with them if I say I went to the Machen kitchen sat on the stools and talked. But for me that's often the place I'd most like to be. There's something to be said for simply walking downtown with someone you've missed and talking for a few hours. Something to be said for being able to spend a few more days entering the lives of friends and sharing life with them. For me that something is thank you. Thank you to all the friends I saw this past week, and even those I didn't see, who have meant so much to me over the years. Thank you for giving me a home away from home.

Blessed to be a Blessing

2006-12-02T16:10:00.000-05:00

That phrase has been challenging me a bit for the last few days. I think I heard my pastor use it this past Sunday while discussing the Church and social justice. I don't know about you, but I confess that in my mind at times I've wondered what I might do if I were to somehow strike it rich one day. You hear all these stories about people who win ridiculous amounts of money through the Powerball lottery or some other means and then blow it all on the most meaningless expenses, spending just to spend. It's easy whenever you hear something like that to think of how you would use that money so much differently.

We tell ourselves that we'd give so much to charities and to fight hunger, disease, and injustice around the world and maybe we would. What we don't realize or fail to acknowledge is that the way we handle our money now is probably how we'd handle it if we had millions of dollars more. How often do we make smaller unneccesary purchases to spoil ourselves and then find a way to justify it? How often do we neglect to give to these same social causes like hunger, and disease on the smaller scale we can afford because we think we don't have the means? And what about our time, what about our efforts? When do we make the sacrifice needed to get involved? It seems foolish to think that someone who doesn't realize the manifold blessings he already posseses would somehow use them differently if his blessings were to increase. Such a one would still be operating from the same foundation, namely a sinfully self-absorbed heart bent on self-worship and self-gratification.

May the Lord open our eyes and burden our heart to the ways He has already richly blessed us. May we, no matter what the scale of our means might be, consider His blessings and consider those to whom we might be a blessing. May He continue to transform our sinful heart and conform us to the image of His Son, that His name might be great and that His kingdom increased.

Uneventful Days

2006-11-19T21:20:00.000-05:00

I find myself now deeply entrenched into a day-to-day routine. My alarm goes off every Monday through Friday at the same time 6:50A.M. I always hit snooze at least once, if not twice. I sleep as late as possible, ready myself quickly, and jump in my car for work by about 7:30. I try to get to the parking garage at work by 7:55 at the latest, b/c it takes me about 5 minutes to walk to my desk on the third floor. I always take the stairs and not the elevator. For those who were wondering, the staircase is a combination of one side being evenly numbered steps and the other odd, though I haven't counted the number of steps. Saturday is my sacred sleep-in day, which usually amounts to waking up at about 9:30 or 9:45 at the latest.

My evenings consist of driving home, grabbing dinner and trying to be at the gym by about 8:30 at the latest. I work out with my buddy Paul usually 5 times a week. The gym is a must if you intend to avoid having your posterior grow to the shape of your ergonomicly designed office chair. My weekend nights are typically spent with friends at one of our normal bars, or at the occasional movie.

I don't really meet a great deal of new people, though attending a new church has helped in that department. It just seems like I wake up every Monday morning and start counting down 'til Saturday morning. Life is one ongoing routine for me.

Not sure I'm a big fan of it all. I miss packing my bags every couple months and driving a thousand miles away to my second home in Philly. Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't miss Philly but the change in scenery was nice. I guess this routine is a reality for almost everyone, at least in the U.S.

It always amazes me how quickly weeks fly by, then months, even years. I'm seriously going to be 60 years old before I know what hit me. As much as I endeavor to savor the moments as they pass, they still pass and I'm powerless to stop them.

Highway Robbery Ect........

2006-09-19T03:15:00.000-04:00

So I have my new job and I basically know what type of income I can expect for the next year or so at least. Couple that with the fact that I'm not in school & I kind of feel now would be a good time to really get out on my own. So I've been doing the apartment shopping and all that, trying to balance a projected budget for myself. One thing I find myself in the market for is auto insurance. Some may be aware of this others may not, but since I made my first auto insurance payment I have hated the industry all together. It really makes me think of the mob or the tax collectors from biblical times. Guys who you sort of have to pay or else, even though you know you're getting screwed over. I don't even want to think about how much money I've paid in auto insurance, let alone how much I will eventually pay, in my lifetime. I do know that I've never seen a dime of it and I never will. And should I ever actually need them to provide me with even the smallest of services in exchange for my payments, I can rest assured (or maybe I should say rest insured) that those payments will be increased. Heaven forbid they actually have to give me something in exchange for the thousands of dollars I pay them. It is quite literally highway robbery. I may sound a little fired-up as I write this, maybe that's b/c it's 3AM and I been up getting online quotes for insurance. Bear with me.

So I was driving home yesterday and as I approached a split in the road this young woman (probably a year or two younger than me at least) decided that changing lanes on a wet road, talking on a cell phone, at 60+ mph, without looking was a good idea. It of course was not a good idea. But in keeping with the driving philosophy that I've maintained since I first started driving, I anticipated her making that move. I saw her moving and had already avoided the would be collision at least a half second to a second before she knew I was there. But does that ever find its way onto my, or anyone else's, insurance bill? Not really. I guess I'm just venting, or as Scripture would probably call it, grumbling and complaining. It just seems like there's something very unjust about the whole auto insurance industry, and just about any other insurance for that matter.

1:13

2006-07-30T05:25:00.000-04:00

Right at 3:58 AM this morning I heard a distant banging sort of sound as if from a fairly large object. This was followed by an immediate creaking sound for about a second or so then another bang followed and the power went out. Various thoughts began to go through my head. I hadn't heard any thunder, had something been struck by lightning? This happened last Saturday night, I was planning to visit a friend's church in Tampa but overslept when the power had gone out the night before. It seemed to be trying to come back on but couldn't quite get there, how long would it take? You know, I really ought to invest in one of those little 9 volt batteries to back up my alarm clock. I don't want to miss church again, but I can't go back to sleep until I'm able to set my alarm. Besides, I'm not really tired.

After about 2 mins of thinking I decided to venture outside for a walk. It seemed like such an adventurous idea and I need to clear my head anyway. As some may be aware I sometimes struggle with sleeping at normal hours or even sleeping at all, particularly when I've got certain issues on my mind.

Something about this walk seemed so very exciting. For some reason I found myself not wanting to be seen & was disappointed to find 3 or 4 cars driving past me as I started down Bayshore ave. As I looked to the sky I scarcely saw anything resembling a storm cloud, how had the power been knocked out? I headed north with my iPod and looked out across the bay. For some reason I found myself beginning to think about life and what would happen if it all ended for me on that walk? I thought about the last text message I had sent a friend of mine, what would it mean to her if I were gone the next morning? I thought of my latest blog entry, they'd probably read it at my funeral. Any number of thoughts began to fill my head, but behind them all I thought of what it would be like to pass into the afterlife to see my Saviour.

I had walked for about 6 minutes or so before I began to see a power company truck coming down the road with a search light inspecting the power lines looking for a problem. Behind the truck I could see what appeared to be a collection of vehicles. As I began getting closer I could see at least two of them were also power company trucks there were also at least 4 police cars and one fire truck. Just as I was able to make them out something caught my attention out of the corner of my left eye, something that seemed a bit out of place. It was a speed limit sign. Everything was normal about the sign except the fact that it was bent nearly level with the ground. It had obviously been run over and evidently at a fairly high speed. I began looking at the grass for tire marks of some sort. It seemed as if there were tracks, but whatever had run it over did so without swerving or breaking. Then of course the whole puzzle began to come together and the solution was a dark one. It was now about 4:30 or so as I stood on the side of the road. I walked up to where the emergency vehicles were parked virtually unnoticed. I was expecting to be greeted by an officer informing me that I needed to be on my way or something. All the activity seemed to be on the other side of the street and I planned to walk past trying to get a glimpse of the situation on my way. As I was doing that focused on the crews working on the power lines across the street I realized that about 30 feet in front of me lay the cause of it all. It was a mid to late '90s model white Ford Mustang. All that I could see of it was the front end, which was facing the road with a slight angle towards me. On top of the car lay the downed telephone pole, crushing the roof of the car in a 'V' formation.

It stopped me in my tracks. Why was it that all the crews working seemed focused completely on the power lines across the street? Certainly this was the real cause for attention. As I pieced together the path that this vehicle must have taken the and result seemed grim. I saw no blood yet I saw no sign that there had been an effort to rescue anyone from the vehicle. Had they been ejected upon impact? Had they survived possibly? It was now 4:37 AM.

Evidently I would be walking no further down that sidewalk as the downed pole and wires were covering it. I began to turn back and to think about the life of the individual driving that vehicle. As a kid growing up I always had this image in my mind of the "Drunken Driver". He was this evil man who went out to drink himself silly possessing this sadistic lust for endangering the innocent. As I've grown older I now realize that the sweet girl who's always smiling when I see her at work, the one who's a junior at the local college and working towards her career, she's the one with 2 DUIs. It's people much like myself. In fact, I had been out with a few friends from work the night before when the topic had come up. One even mentioned that she thought I would be over the limit & I had only had 3 drinks and felt completely sober.

I walked a little further, going past my street and back through my neighborhood. Walking past the downed sign got me thinking, what if I had gone for a walk about 30 mins earlier? I could have been hit. What is it that really stands between me and the driver of that Mustang? It is certainly no righteousness of my own, only sovereign grace. Not 2 mins after I slipped back into the back door of my house I saw my clock blinking 12:00, the power was back. Looking at my cell phone it was 5:11AM and I was suddenly struck by the thought of just how much had happened in the last 1:13 since the power had gone out. It seemed kind of eerie listening to the beeping of surge protectors marking that fateful moment when what seemed like a minor inconvenience for me was so very much more for the driver. What is it that really stands between that driver and myself? Only sovereign grace.

Guess that means I'm "It"

2006-07-30T01:02:00.000-04:00

So apparently I've been tagged courtesy of Denise. And to demonstrate my intelligence, or lack thereof, I first off had to copy and paste 'joie de vivre' into the my Yahoo search since I wasn't sure what it meant. I'm no poet nor do I read as much of it as I should, so I'll take the picture option of the assignment. The picture I've provided
is a bit outdated (about 2 years old), but I think it captures what I love about summer. The girl pictured is my niece Ashlynne, who's now 7 years old.

It's a given that any picture I would provide is going to be taken at the beach. I've blessed with the opportunity to spend a bit of time with Ashlynne this last week. We've gone for walks to the park to visit our alligator "buddies" who live there. We've gone for walks in the dark and shared our fears, she's afraid of baby dinosaurs 'they may be small but they're still tough' and we share a fear of suspended heights such as cliffs or tall building ledges, or tall bridges. I've also been selling her on the TV show 'Knight Rider', she loves KITT but don't we all. We've also had a run-in with a black racer while we were playing in the backyard, a black racer which I shot in the face with a rubber band 'that's what you get for biting my uncle in the face when he was in 7th grade' she yelled. (I was bitten in the face by a snake in my 7th grade science class).

The point of this all is of course that what I find to be my source of Joie De Vivre as I understand it (by way of Yahoo) is essentially family in the sun.

Is This Good For the Company?

2006-07-12T17:14:00.000-04:00

About 5:00 yesterday afternoon I was taking a brief break at work before my 6:00 shift that night. I didn't have enough time to justify a drive home so I went out and sat in my car and put in one of my favorite albums looking to make the most of my time off. Just about that time I received a phone call. It was from a lady with whom I had had a few phone conversations over the course of the past week or so. She informed me that she had good news and bad news then asked which I wanted to hear first. I of course said give me the bad news.

Her name is Tammy and she works in the H.R. dept at Raymond James a financial firm based in St. Pete. I had first heard from her last week as she called to set me up to interview for a position in their customer service dept. The job consists of serving as a go-between for the corporate office and their branches throughout the country. I would be answering phones and adjusting accounts as need be as well as working to resolve any questions the branches may have regarding said accounts.

Well the bad news, as it turns out, is that I wasn't offered that position. There is of course still the good news to address.

When I interviewed for the position the previous week the process began by taking a general aptitude test, basically an IQ test. Now as some may know I kind of like taking those types of tests and have tended to score fairly well on them in the past. I typically look forward to placement tests, unless they involve Hebrew of course. I took the ACT for college having been out of school for a couple years and having only studied for a maximum of 45 minutes and I promptly earned a scholarship for my first semester of college. So apparently when I took this test before my interview I tested quite well, I even heard that the phrase "off the charts" was used, for another position in the company. Tammy called me the day after my interview and asked of I would be interested in interviewing for this other position, and of course I was. So I came in and interviewed for it on Monday. As it turns out the good news she brought me yesterday was that I had been offered the position. I of course accepted.

This position deals with portfolios Sr. Portfolio Manager is the title. It pays a little better than the one I had previously applied for and sounds a whole lot more interesting to me.

For those who may be wondering why I titled this post as I did. Well, just watch Office Space again. I don't feel like I took a job at Inetech, but I can't help but reference the film at a time like this. I'm thankful that the Lord has given me favor in my pursuit of a job and I'm thankful to have had a credible friend working for me on the inside, Jeremy. Besides I needed to put some kind of a post on my blog or else Denise might consider removing the link from her blog.

Leaving

2006-06-02T14:15:00.000-04:00

I've been trying to avoid packing all day. Yeah, I'm supposed to be leaving tomorrow morning; 8AM sharp. There's a big part of me that just doesn't want to go. So many people; people I love, people that have shown such love to me, people that have challenged me, people that have encouraged me. God has used so many people to bless me in so many ways, ways that I recognize and ways that I don't. I keep running into people around campus and wondering if I'll see them again. Then I think of the people I haven't seen for a couple days and it dawns on me that I most likely won't see them again. It can be a little depressing to think about it in these terms. But I've also been receiving phone calls and messages almost daily from friends and family back home who are urging me to come home soon. It's all such a bittersweet experience, but I really do have to start packing.

27

2006-05-14T00:13:00.000-04:00

So I just went to Wawa. As I was checking-out I noticed on the register right next to the $1.11 Sprite I bought was the date Sunday May 14th 12:05AM. I'm 27. Wow, is that old? I don't know. Every year since I turned 19 I've been amazed at how old I am. I think that phase is starting to wear off. Something just feels right about 27. Even before I turned 27 I had the feeling that this was just gonna be a great year. It's one of those ages you feel like you could live your life happily if you stayed 27 forever. To Quote David St. Hubbins, lead singer Spinal Tap, "It's like the whole Unisphere, like the stars are just right or something. I don't know, it feels good though." I remember loving the age 17, now ten years later 27 feels just right. I wouldn't hold out too much hope for 37 though.

2006-04-18T02:16:00.000-04:00

Been A While

2006-04-18T02:12:00.000-04:00

I've been having problems logging into my Blogger account lately. That at least in part accounts for there being no posts in the last month. Hopefully that is all fixed now. I've had a few ideas for posts but haven't been able to log in and publish them. When the inspiration to do so returns to me I'll post on them.

Feel It Now

2006-03-18T01:46:00.000-05:00

Just got my new BRMC Ep today. I've listened to this song probably 15 times since I got the cd this afternoon. I get that way with new songs, just listening to them over and over. So, I thought I'd at least post the lyrics. They aren't anything ground-breaking, but here they are anyway. The first I heard of this song was when I went to their concert a few weeks back, they opened their set with it. If you're one of those who checks my MySpace page, look for this song on my profile hopefully as soon as tomorrow night/Sunday morning.

Feel It Now

And all my sorrows awakenAnd all my fear's run downI turn myself into an angelI run myself into the ground
I'm on my own I'm sure I'll feel it nowI'm on my own I'm sure I'll know it nowI'm on my own I'm sure I'll feel it nowI'm on my own I'm sure I'll know it now
And all the reasons invadingTwist and turn my aching soulI leave myself behind in piecesI know you'll need them when I'm gone
I'm on my own I'm sure I'll know it nowI'm on my own I'm sure I'll feel it now
I'll never see againI'll never see againThe worst has come I'm fallin' inI'll never see you againI'll never see you againThe worst has come I'm fallin' in
I'm on my own I'm sure I'll feel it nowI'm on my own I'm sure I'll know it nowI'm on my own I'm sure I'll feel it nowI'm on my own I'm sure I'll know it now

My Space

2006-03-09T13:43:00.000-05:00

I've started to use my MySpace page a bit more lately. I've got it all decked-out and whatnot now too. It's not lookin' too bad these days. I've also started to use some of the tools on that site a bit. One such tool is the 'search' option. There's some 60 million people on myspace or at least that many accounts. Most of them are people my age or younger. So if you go to the search option you can just type in a person's name and there's at least a 50% chance they're gonna have a page. I've typed in a number of people. It's put me backin touch with a handful of people I haven't seen or heard from for 5+ years. I've also found people's profiles which were a bit dissappointing. I'll type someone's name in only to find they've gone a direction in life that isn't the best. Some seeming to have walked away from the faith a bit. One I typed in yesterday is now apparently a pluralist. Either way it's interesting to look people up. Even if you don't try to contact all of them, it's interesting to see where life takes people in such a short period of time.

Racial Relations

2006-03-03T00:30:00.000-05:00

I recently attended a discussion on racial relations with Dr. Jeff Jue Professor of Church History at Westminster Theological Seminary. He spoke particularly on issues surrounding the Asian-American church and also responded a bit to a book by David Wells (not that David Wells) a professor at another seminary, who had come to speak at the school. In responding to Wells' book Jue criticized the 'melting pot' analogy Wells used to describe the American racial/religious climate prior to 1965 changes to immigration laws. This melting pot model is based on the premise that there was a melting together of racial distinctions and with that religions during this time. Jue's critique was that such an approach diminished the significance of those Americans who may not have fit into the mainstream of American culture in that time period, namely such individuals as Jue's own grandmother or African-Americans of that time. Instead Jue seemed to posit an analogy more along the lines of a rainbow, where multiple ethnic groups together formed a whole. As the discussion progressed it turned more to issues of racial injustice and insensitivity that existed both during that time and on through to the present and the reconciliation that is still needed.

The discussion was helpful and insightful for me as a Caucasian. Often as a majority you operate from a position that tends to be very centered around your own culture and traditions as paramount. This tends to go unchallenged. As I considered the issue of racial relations and the church in the United States it got me thinking. I was unable for time reasons to voice everything I had in mind that night, so I thought I'd post something here to that effect.

There's a fine line between 'diversity' and 'division'. Humanity, being fallen, is all too good at taking whatever the Lord has set before us and turning into something that it ought not be. The temptation set before Adam in the garden is very much alive and well today, the temptation of autonomy or being your own god. This is at work in the heart of all of us regardless of our ethnicity or race. We tend to exalt ourselves in everything we do. If something is wrong it's usually not our fault. We're ever concerned with our way, with our plans, with our thoughts, and with our dreams. This tendency certainly carries over to race, or ethnicity, or tribe, whatever the case may be. We exalt ourselves to the throne of our lives and we seek to exalt everything we associate as our own along with us. We all, regardless of our race, tend to exalt our race or our tradition above others on account of our sin natures. Often as the majority culture within a blending of cultures this tendency goes unchecked and typically unnoticed by that majority. If we are anything we are self-deceivers. We buy into our own plausible lies on a daily basis, including the lie of our superiority.

It is precisely this sin nature that causes us to twist the diversity that God has given us into a cause for division. We are sinfully self-absorbed. If anything characterizes the history of race relations in the United States it is this self-absorbed division.

Where does the church come into the picture and what do we as the church have to add? God has set us here for a reason. We are to be a light of truth and justice to the darkness of this world. We are to be ministers of reconciliation. Part of the church's role as light in this world is exposing injustice for what it is. We ought to call injustice injustice. We shouldn't ignore the issue but expose it. Sin has brought depravity which has spread to every facet of our lives, and particular to our inter-personal and racial relations. We can easily call out such things as slavery or racially prejudiced laws of the past. Virtually no one today would defend such policies as good, but does it stop there? Are there other forms of racial injustice in practice today that we go about our lives unaware of? Considering the nature of the problem, namely our sin nature, the answer would most certainly be yes.

But where do we go from there and why? During the discussion I asked Dr. Jue how someone such as myself, a majority in this society, ought to go about pursuing reconciliation with minorities. He mentioned that taking an active interest in hearing the concerns of the minority are a great start. The question was also posed to 'why take that interest?'. I mentioned that the friendships I had been able to develop with minorities over the years played a big role in my own life. When there's a face behind that minority concern it tends to matter more. I feel there is however a more foundational reason or basis on which to pursue racial reconciliation, this being the gospel. Any reconciliation that is to be effective and lasting must address the heart of the matter, man's sinful nature. Changing the laws of the land or the actions of man are good and necessary steps to be taken, steps which this country has been taking for over 100 years. But unless the sinful nature is addressed this change or reconciliation will remain largely superficial.

This is where the church serves as a light. When I consider the concerns of my brother Dr. Jue I see those concerns through a new lens, the lens of the gospel. The gospel doesn't approach him any different than it approaches me. So why should I? There is neither Jew nor Greek in Christ. The reconciliation we have in Christ knows no racial boundaries. I see Dr. Jue's concerns as my own on account of the unity we have in Christ. He is the foundation. The one thing there's no room for at the center of our hearts is ourselves, for the King is in residence there. The gospel transforms the self-exalting nature within us into one that exalts Him. Instead of exalting myself, my concerns, or my race I ought to exalt Christ and bring into subjection any thought that might exalt itself against Him. The story of the gospel is written all over the pages of American history. We are a people fallen, sinful, self-centered and in need of a Saviour, in need of His reconciliation. As we are humbled to our rightful place as servants of the Most High and He is exalted, we are reconciled to Him and consequently to each other.

Hmmm

2006-02-24T13:06:00.000-05:00

You Are 44% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

Tehya Laelle Barnes

2006-02-09T23:53:00.000-05:00

I'm an uncle, again!!! My sister gave birth this afternoon to a beautiful baby girl Tehya Laelle Barnes. She was 8lbs 10.5oz born at 2:06 pm. Mom and baby are both doing good. Her first name, Tehya, is Native American for "precious". Not sure which Native American tribe that is though. Her middle name is taken from Hebrew and modified a bit. 'La', as it is transliterated, is the Hebrew preposition "from" and 'El' is the transliterated Hebrew word for God. Put them together and you have Lael "from God". They added the last two letters for euphonic purposes (easier to pronounce). Here are a couple pics.

Gambling and Society

2006-02-06T13:57:00.000-05:00

Just had some random thoughts today about the issue of gambling. As you may know, I like to play a little poker from time to time, as do a number of my Christian friends. In the Christian circles I have been raised in such activities would certainly be seen as contrary to the Christian life. Truth be told, I've never heard a sound explanation on why gambling is something that a Christian ought to refrain from. Obviously gambling like many other forms of recreation/entertainment needs to be done in moderation and with certain "checks" so to speak put in place. These may vary from one person to the next, but I think this is an area where stewardship comes into play.

Let me briefly go through a few of my own personal "checks". If I'm going to a friends house for a friendly game of poker it needs to fit within a responsible management of my time and of my money. If there are other obligations that I need to attend to, then certainly they take precedence over a game of poker as they would over any other form of recreation. I have always thought of money that I play poker with as money spent. In other words, if I can't afford to spend it, then I can't play poker with it. I'll never even carry more money on me than that which I can afford to spend in case it should at some point become a temptation to use it unwisely.

Poker to me, and gambling in general for that matter, is no different than other widely accepted forms of recreation, yet it still comes under criticism in many Christian circles. For example, if I brought $20 dollars a week to a friend's house for a regular game of poker some would see that as a problem. However, if I went golfing once a week (I used to golf regularly in college) many of the same people would not have a problem. Golfing is not cheap. You have to shell out a couple hundred dollars on a set of clubs and greens fees are usually $25-$40 for 18 holes. That's money you have no chance of getting back. If you play the game of your life and shoot under par for the course, you can't walk into the clubhouse at the end of the day and get your money back. It's gone. Now if you play well at poker you'll at least keep your money and often make a profit. Providing you're keeping checks in place where you won't risk what you can't afford to spend, then what's the problem? How is poker a less acceptable form of recreation for a Christian than golfing?

In terms of gambling in general, I think there is another parallel. Say you're a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers and you thought at the beginning of this last NFL season that they had a good enough team to win the Super Bowl. You knew the players on their roster, you knew the caliber of coaches, you saw their schedule of opponents, and at the end of the season you felt this was the team that was going to win the Super Bowl. You could've gone to any number of casinos or online sports betting sites and placed a bet on the Steelers to win it all. You probably would've gotten maybe 20:1 odds. If you had certain checks in place and weren't betting what you couldn't spend and you went and placed a bet on the Steelers, you'd have turned a 20-fold profit on your money. You bet $100 and now you have $2,000. A parallel may be made between these actions and that of a person buying stock. Say you were of the persuasion that Microsoft would be an up-and-coming business back in the late '80s. You had a little extra cash, say $1,000 in this case, and you "invested" it in Microsoft. Imagine the profit you would've turned! You'd be retired! And you'd be termed a genius and highly esteemed by all of culture, including Christian culture. Or say you had "invested" in a property and made a large profit, the same principle would hold true.

The point of all this is that the terms "invest" and "bet or wager" are really interchangeable. The process of researching a stock and researching a football team are parallel. The difference really lies in the light which society casts them in. The guy who "bets on" or "invests in" a football team has a problem, where the guy who "bets on" or "invests in" a stock is a hero. Why? What's the difference? As I mentioned earlier, I haven't heard a sound argument from Scripture against "gambling" or "investing". So, if anyone knows of one that might answer the questions I have posed, or even if the particular questions are not addressed, one that presents a solid biblical position against it feel free to let me know. Please do, I would actually love to read it in my spare time. These were just some thoughts I had today and over the course of the last few weeks.

I think it's also important to note how poker has taken off as a form of recreation. It's become something that Christians are going to be presented with, and will need to have a position on.

MySpace

2006-01-26T16:00:00.000-05:00

I recently created a new MySpace page, and w/ the prodding of my good friend Tiffany I'm adding a link here for the page.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=18918182

Feel free to check it out if you'd like.

Tony's wedding

2006-01-22T23:42:00.000-05:00

As some may know, I was back in Florida this weekend for Tony and Jessica's wedding. It was a lot of fun from the bachelor party on through the reception. I had a great time and it was an honor to be best man. Hopefully I'll have some pics up soon.

Reformed Bible Study

2006-01-09T22:39:00.000-05:00

Sorry I've been MIA for the past few weeks. I've been in FL and my parents internet connection blocks out my Blog. Anyway, had an idea for a post the other day, that for some reason didn't slip my mind after 5 mins. So here it is

Having grown -up in the Charismatic church and having attended a Fundamentalist college and now attending WTS (sorry to any non-Christian readers, this post may have no relevance to you) , I've been around the theological block a little bit. It's been good to have such a diverse background and it helps me not to feel wed to any one camp. Well I was at a Bible study the other night, and the leader of the study posed a question. I'll just give a brief dialogue on what was said. The topic was our view of the church and the audience was young adults.

Heath (leader): Why do you think it is so hard for young adults, college kids, to stay involved in the local church?
Jason: We get so busy w/ classes and activities, and going away to college.
Kid who's name I don't remember: In high school all your friends are going. It's easy to go when all your friends are going, when you're surrounded by your Christian friends.
Jason: It's hard to go when you're hangin' out w/ your drinkin' buddies.
Jeremy (from across the room): That's why they should be the same (Christian/drinkin' buddies).

You gotta love that comment. I could just imagine someone saying that in a typical southern evangelical church. You'd get lynched!! People would seriously think you're not a Christian!! But not at the Reformed Bible study. In fact, the comment got more than a couple amens.

Finally

2005-12-16T15:10:00.000-05:00

Finals wrapped up for me yesterday w/ Ancient Church. I love the feeling of turning in your last final of a semester. You walk away from the busiest 2 weeks of the years w/ nothing to do. You can actually spend a little time relaxing and maybe reading just to read instead of reading to figure out what question you're gonna be asked. Not that I'm the most avid reader, but occasionally it's nice.

just as good as that is the feeling of leaving 30 degree raining Philadelphia and finding yourself in 70 degree Florida just 2 hours later. Today's one of those days where it isn't cold and it isn't hot, one of those days you don't even notice the weather b/c it's just right. Gotta love winter in Florida

Snow

2005-12-11T14:41:00.000-05:00

It's been snowing a bit this past week and though for some of my readers this is no big deal, since they live here, other of my readers arefrom places where it never snow like Florida. I took a couple pics and tought I'd post them. This was Thursday morning before my first exam. I took a short break from studying to take these pics.

Better Song

2005-12-01T04:30:00.000-05:00

In contrast to my last post here's a good song. 'Break the Night With Colour' Richard Ashcroft.
http://www.richardashcroft.com/ Check out the video here.

Worst Songs

2005-11-22T16:40:00.000-05:00

As many who know me will attest, Baja Fresh is one of my favorite places. I go there about once a week or so. So today as I was there ordering nachos for lunch something happened that honestly made me want to run out of there. I had to sit through one of the worst songs I've heard. One that I've hated for years, one that really really bothers me whenever I hear it. Somehow I managed to stay inside and finish my nachos, but it got me thinking. What is the worst song ever made? So, I thought I'd pose the question on this blog. Feel free to post your response and interact w/mine or others, in fact please post your response. The song I heard today and one that is certainly in the running for the worst is Alice Bridges 'I love the night life (disco round)'.

O. C. D.

2005-11-13T22:33:00.000-05:00

We all went out tonight. Well at least five of us did, out to Fatty's, this bar about 5 mins from Machen. I had 2 Capt/Cokes and a beer, maybe that factored in maybe not. But that's when I revealed a few of my oddities. I guess to some extend at least, I am O.C.D. More specifically, I kinda count steps a bit when I walk. You know, or maybe you don't. I'll just explain a bit. I tend to be right-handed for one, in some ways rather severely right-handed. As far as the steps go, I sort of count them. (by steps I mean stairs) I always finish a staircase with my right foot. I tend to remember if a staircase has an odd or an even number of steps (the majority are even) and I order my steps accordingly. Does this make me O.C.D.? Possibly

My other O.C.D. tendency is with my money. It needs to be in order. Again I'll explain. Larger bills you towards the back and they follow in descending order (50s, 20s, 10s, 5s, 1s). I also keep the nicer and newer bills towards the back (a dingier more crumbled bill goes towards the front and is spent first). I also got a bit into my oddities when it comes to eating, which I wont try to explain here. Does this make me O.C.D. or maybe just plain weird? It might.

Sleep or Lack Thereof

2005-11-10T02:29:00.000-05:00

Maybe this is just a post for the sake of posting, I don't know. Just one of those nights that I just can't seem to fall asleep. You ever have that? You know, where your just sitting there in bed, thinking about the day, thinking about life's big questions, thinking about some girl, thinking about how tired you're gonna be tomorrow. I know it's not just me.

Then all of the sudden it starts to get kind of exciting. It turns into some sort of opportunity to, I don't know, do things you'd normally do during the day. Like posting on your blog for example. So I decided I'd make the most of this opportunity I have tonight. Not only am I blogging, but I just got back from what was about a 40 minute walk. It was raining earlier (lightning actually; rare to see up here/reminds me of home) and I noticed it stopped so I grabbed my iPod and went out. I always wonder if someone sees me walking alone @ 2:00AM through the neighborhood. What must they think? Hmmm. Oh well, maybe they can't sleep either and I can give them an idea of how to spend their non-sleeping time.

Well, not a whole lot else to say. Just kinda sitting here, feeling compelled to type words on to this page for some odd reason.

Machen Mafia

2005-11-07T03:30:00.000-05:00

I actually wrote this post a couple of hours ago, but due to problems w/ my blog it was deleted. Not that anyone was really concerned with that though. Anyways, on with the post. I think it was this past Wednesday night that it first happened. I came down stairs around 12:30am to find 5-6 people sitting in the Mach living room. Were they praying or worshiping, nah! They had a deck of cards and they were playing this game called Mafia. I pretended to have been awakened by their voices just to mess with Tiffany (she and I have awoken another of our dorm mates on a few occasions this semester). Then I was introduced to this game "Mafia". I had heard of the game from other people here at WTS but had never played.
The next thing I knew hours had gone by and we all still wanted to play. The game has only grown from there. Earlier tonight we played with 10 or so people (many of them not form Machen). We started at 9:30, a reasonable hour, and we played until 1am! Yeah sure there was talk about papers being due and other such responsibilities, but this was Mafia we couldn't just stop. Besides "this is the last game"! As I told Tiffany, "just sacrifice sleep". We can all get by fine with 5hrs instead of 8, no problem. Looking at the clock, I hope I was right.

Album Review

2005-11-03T15:32:00.000-05:00

One of the things I wanted to do w/ this blog (which is 1 week old today :) ) is to be able to write an occasional album review. Now I don't claim to really know all that much about music, can't read it or write it, just a fan.
Depeche Mode has always been one of those borderline "guilty pleasure" bands for me. I think they are a great band, while at the same time their sound is a bit....well... It's hard to describe. Let's just say that it often reminds me of the Saturday Night Live sketch 'Sprockets' "now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!!" Anytime I mention Depeche Mode favorably to someone, I half expect them to laugh at me, and they sometimes do.
Depeche Mode, veterans of the electronic/new wave/alternative scene, have been at it for 25 some odd years now. October 18th saw the release of their 12th (not including compilations) album 'Playing the Angel'. 'Playing the Angel' sees Depeche Mode returning again to the sound that made them one of the biggest acts in the world at the turn of the '90s. It is quintessential Depeche Mode, M. Gore's catchy songs sung by the piercing voice of D. Gahan. I've had the album for about a week, enough time to get a fairly good feel for it. The lead single "Precious" amongst others stands out as the better tracks. The other track scheduled for release is "John the Revelator" where the band continues their tradition of attacking Christianity, in this case calling John a liar who "is stealing a God" from the Israelite, and the Muslim & who should "hang his head in shame". The 3rd track "Suffer Well" is one of a number of better tracks on the album along w/ "I want it All", "Nothing's Impossible", and "The Darkest Star". Overall, this is Depeche Mode's best work since 'Violator' and I'd give it a rating of 8 out of 10. A solid purchase for any Depeche Mode fan, or anyone interested in trying the band out.

Lookin' for the right pants?

2005-11-01T23:19:00.000-05:00

Two posts in one day?? I know that's getting ambitious and as Thom Yorke would say "ambition makes you look pretty ugly". But I decided to disregard Mr. Yorke and post this anyway. Quite funny, enjoy. http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8335653541

Your Mom Goes To College

2005-11-01T15:39:00.000-05:00

More than a couple people have told me in the last year that I should do a Napoleon Dynamite spoof for the school talent show w/ myself playing Napoleon. Maybe that's why this is even funnier. My brother Daniel, who actually introduced me to the movie, had a costume contest @ his work for Halloween. As you can see, he was the winner.

Ever Wonder Why?

2005-10-30T21:48:00.000-05:00

Had another one of those moments today. Busy with whatever business I've built into my life. Going about from one place to another tending to my routine when it hits me again. WOW. This place is amazing! It's incredible! I'm truly at a loss to give a description that does any real justice to the majesty of this place. So I don't. I just stand there.....and....WOW! It seems to hit, this feeling, in any number of different places. More than a couple times I've stood on the white sands of some shore and just gazed. At the sand, at the sky (day or night), at the waves, at the birds, the crabs, the fish. It's all so truly amazing! It's all so humbling. Today of course was not a beach day (most unfortunately). Sometimes it hits me even in the suburbs or the city. Amazement at the work of God's hand, at the works of man's hand. It kinda has a way of putting you in your place "many men have stood like I am, gazing out and wishing for someone" - Richard Ashcroft. That even coming from the mouth of a confessed agnostic points us to the greater truth. It points to the role that all of reality, all that is, all that has been and ever will be unashamedly speaks of another, of some One. It reminds me of a Bible study I attended during my early college years. The leader of the study Jerry, would regularly say how often when he wakes up in the morning he finds himself struck with amazement, "it's still here!!" he would say. I often feel the same way myself. But why? I know our purpose is to glorify God, but even when I consciously and deliberately set in my heart not to do that. I mean sit down, think an issue through, think to myself "well God's will is clearly that I......" and premeditatedly choose option 'B'. I still wake-up the next morning, I'm as alive as ever. Why?? Why this? Why creation? Why joy? Why pain? Why that seagull flying over my head? Why the buildings, the cars, the lady crossing the street? Why? There's one thing I'm sure of, and that's the fact that I don't have anything to add to a discussion on such things. All I can say is that the Someone this all points to wanted it this way. He chose it. And the thought of it is staggering in how it humbles me. Who am I that I should even exist let alone be the object of this Someone's love. WOW!

OK so I did it

2005-10-27T05:15:00.000-04:00

It only took approximately 1 week of viewing blogs and talking with bloggers to get me to break down and create MY VERY OWN BLOG. Exciting stuff I know. Hey it's free! What do I have to lose? Besides, I could use all the reasons I can get to put down that book I was half-way reading and write another random post about my thrilling life. (no sarcasm there @ all, definitely not) For anyone reading this my very first blog post, bear with this blog for a bit. It may take me a little while to build up some content. Oh and as far as the name of this blog is concerned, either you get it or you don't. And some of my readers may very well think they get it but only be getting half of it. It has a dual reference, which if you ask me I may or may not disclose. I will say my first choice 'Autobahn' was unavailable (which also had a dual-reference of sorts and serves as a clue to the meaning of the name I chose). I think "that's all I got to say about that"- Forrest Gump. Kinda anti-climactic I know but the sky's the limit, "if you will it, it is no dream"- T. Herzl. It only gets better from here.